Like the march of the booted soldiers, they storm into the room. Their suede-lined shoes mimic the sounds of the war drums. Not since the hooves of the Mongolian horses has any sound brandished such fear. Closer, closer, they get. The sparkle of the dresses is the torch of advance. The furled skirts awaiting the wind of battle. They are: THE INTIMIDATORS!
The INTIMIDATORS are a cunning group. When not on the dance floor, they help children, help sick people, and provide services in business. Some tower at 5 feet 2 inches in heels and some are grandmothers. As a alliance, they are mighty. The attack would come on New Year’s Eve – Operation Snow Ball. They decided to take their years of training in ballroom dancing and do the unthinkable: DANCE. They would take their skills to the most unlikely place: A DANCE FLOOR.
Their ways are mad; their motives, vile. They eye the the empty, mangled dance floor. They see the weakness of the band. As a nod goes across the table, the dancers flank the dance floor. Dresses unfurled, the sounds of the triple step, triple step on the floor, and the victory is sure. With twirls and arm extensions, they celebrate the conquest. They bask in the knowledge that others feel defeated. Others, who have never spent one minute on self-improvement must now endure the reign of those who have worked long and hard to develop the skill of ballroom dancing. The defeated must watch the victory dance -their wailing heard over the sounds of battle. Still, the INTIMIDATORS dance.
Scoffing at the cries of their defeated, the INTIMIDATORS must move forward. They take the spoils of cheap party hats and return to their camp. Great in battle, they feast at the Warehouse banquet table. The fatted calf is served and the ginger ale flows. In the joy of victory, they feel no remorse that the conquered were abandoned to a life of booty dancing. Their scorched earth tactics make it sure that the INTIMIDATORS will not return.
Strong in battle, the INTIMIDATORS ring in the new year. Resolved in purpose, the INTIMIDATORS waltz and foxtrot around the floor. Mighty in force, the INTIMIDATORS now carry the stripes of war on their sleeves. They will forever be bound in camaraderie for having survived what could have been the worst New Year’s Eve battle of their careers. They will share in a title reserved only for the infamous of the dance floor: THE INTIMIDATORS!
(This blog dedicated to those who saved my NYE last night. You know who you are.)